Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
