kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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