you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
