This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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