Buhtt sex?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
