do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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