Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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