Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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