I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Barsexuality is the new black.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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