We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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