And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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