Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
