im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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