Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
so much tequila, so little girl.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
