Umm I'm too high to move.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
please don't ironically join a cult
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