Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
