The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
