Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
