just come out here and I will go home with you...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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