Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize