Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
