her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
