That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
