I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
