yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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