Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
