no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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