We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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