Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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