I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
