lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am available for nakedness
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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