Don't make out with my wife yet
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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