he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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