There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
