If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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