Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
