tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I love you. Go after that dick
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Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I have post one night stand depression
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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