My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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