You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
