Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize