Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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