wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
