I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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