Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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