Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My nipple is on Facebook.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
