i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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