Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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