my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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