if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize