Where are you?
In a non slutty way
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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