In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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