He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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