so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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