Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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