my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
