i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
false alarm, still single
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