One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
