SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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