Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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