But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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